


Sign of the Times

by chaoticallyspaced



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, Demon Shane Madej, Demon!Shane, Gen, NOT a shipping fanfic, Platonic Relationships, Ryan is a Dumbass, The Ghoul Boys (Buzzfeed Unsolved), d!s, shane is too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25259167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticallyspaced/pseuds/chaoticallyspaced
Summary: After a strange incident at a haunted location, Ryan begins to suspect that his friend may be a lot more than he has ever let on.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej
Comments: 69
Kudos: 324





	1. You Are Not Safe Here

**Author's Note:**

> [word count: 402]  
> [inspired by cirilee on tumblr's comic]  
> the spirit box finally gives ryan something useful, but it may end up leading to a lot more proof than he had ever hoped for.  
> [soundtrack: ghosts by jacob tillberg]  
> i think i saw you   
> but i know i'm not supposed to  
> i must be dreaming  
> cause i don't believe in ghosts.

...

"Fight me, you cowards! Hurt me! Rip out my lungs!" 

"Shane, shut the fuck up! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Ryan hissed.

Shane chuckled, "Many things, my friend." 

"Yeah no shit! Just as revenge for that I'm making us do spirit box sessions early."

"Oh, fuck you, man." Shane laughed, "You have to go first at least."

"Whatever, just as long as I get to hear you suffer sooner than usual."

[scenecut oOoOOo]

The spirit box shrieked to life, howling with the wails of what Ryan simultaneously hoped and did not hope was the dead.

"Hello, my name is Ryan, can you say 'Ryan' back to me?" He called out, his voice already beginning to tremble.

The spirit box made a horrendous noise, which did not at all help Ryan's ever-growing uneasiness (the sound was just unusual radio interference, but try convincing a horrified and currently isolated believer of that).

"Hello? Was that you?" Ryan yelled into the empty hallways of the abandoned and crumbling building, his voice now shaking harder and harder with each word.

More static.

"Are you trying to speak to me? I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk."

Even more static.

Then the machine did something it had rarely ever done before: it said something.

"RUN!" A woman's voice yelled, "YOU ARE NOT SAFE!"

Ryan's face paled. "What did you say?"

The box made another screeching noise, this time an elderly man's voice coming through the speaker: "YOU MUST LEAVE! PLEASE!" 

Ryan felt sick to his stomach. Was he imagining things? There was no way he was getting this many words at once, much less multiple full sentences.

"GET HELP! GET OUT! RUN!" A young girl echoed from the box.

"HE'S COMING! YOU HAVE TO GO!" The same female voice from earlier called.

"What? Who's coming?" Ryan asked, his eyes wide as baseballs as his heart beat at what was probably an unhealthily fast rate.

"HE'S HERE!" A new speaker cut in, a much deeper male voice.

"Who's here?" Ryan gulped as the spirit box glitched and screamed, "Who-or what- are you afraid of?" 

"GO!" All the voices screamed in unsion.

Ryan had had enough. Lucky for him, the voices all went quiet the moment Shane walked in the room.

"Hey man," He greeted nonchalantly, "You done freaking out yet?"

Ryan flicked off the spirit box and shook his head.

"Shut up, Shane."

...


	2. Four in the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 666]  
> ryan is sleepless and begins to wonder if shane is really who- or what- he says he is.  
> [soundtrack: undercover martyn by two door cinema club]  
> to the basement, people  
> to the basement  
> you hid there last time  
> you know we're gonna find you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: anything with 'this' symbol around it is just ryan's thoughts

  
...

Ryan rolled over and looked at the clock with bleary eyes.

' _Great. 4-fucking-am and I haven't slept for more than 15 minutes. That'll be fun in the morning._ ' He thought.

His mind had been plagued with the same question that had kept him awake all through the ungodly hours of the night since last week's investigation: what the hell were the ghosts so afraid of?

There had been no reported cases of anything alien or demonic or anything like that in that location, so there was nothing otherworldly that could have scared them. Were they afraid of living people or something?

' _No, they wouldn't have warned me about myself. That would just be dumb._ ' Ryan decided.

He mentally ran through a checklist of things that could possibly harm a dead human-shaped ball of energy, but none of them made any sense at all.

A ghost somehow more powerful than the rest? Doubt it.  
Some unknown cryptid that could kill ghosts? Probably not.  
Demons? No, his research sources would have definitely said something about that.  
Shane? As if his lanky ass could do anything.  
All of the above, rolled into one? That was just plain laughable.

I mean, seriously? Shane as an all powerful ghost, undocumented cryptid, and demon all at once? I think the fuck not. Shane as any one of those things was hilarious. 

<p>Him as some grand and mighty ghost would make the whole series pointless, Shane as an unknown cryptid was just plain weird, and Shane as a-

Wait.

Memories of fans joking theories about Shane being a demon came rushing back, along with all the goofy points they made that he'd dismissed as just Shane being Shane, even though he'd openly joked about it on camera.

But now, sitting sleep deprived in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with blurry eyes and definitely not thinking straight, it didn't seem so outlandish to Ryan anymore.

"Holy fucking shit, maybe the internet was right." He mumbled to himself, barely awake with his head in his hands.

...

' _This is dumb. This is so so dumb. This is so very paranoid and dumb._ ' Ryan told himself as he pulled out his laptop and began searching up the theory he thought was bullshit up until a few minutes ago on nearly every social media site he could think of.

' _I've slept in demon infested homes and yet this is still the stupidest thing I have ever done._ ' Ryan grumbled to himself about 2 hours later, now almost 7 pages deep in the demon Shane tag on tumblr.

' _This is stupid. I'm stupid. I'm not doing this anymore._ ' He continued to tell himself, now staring at screencaps of Shane's eyes looking completely black on the shadows and his hair twisted into shapes that were startlingly similar to horns once it was pointed out on twitter.

And even though he had promised himself he wouldn't look at any more of the theory, he continued to search though the stories, art, and proof posts made by fans for the next 3 hours.

The sharp sound of his alarm going off jarred Ryan and broke his attention away from his laptop screen. The noise usually meant it was time to wake up, but this time it was just a reminder that yes, he had really stayed up all night reading about stranger's reasons as to why his best friend was a dangerous and immortal supernatural creature.

Was he proud of it? Not at all.  
Did he now think that the spirit box going silent the second Shane stepped into the room was very suspicious? Maybe.  
Was he saying that his best friend was most definitely a malevolent demon out to get him? No, definitely not.  
Did he think something weird was up with him? Absolutely.

And now, after getting ready and armed with an impressively/concerningly heavy set of eyebags and his keychain sized holy water, Ryan was now absolutely determined to find out what exactly was going on with Shane Madej.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope yall enjoyed that chapter more than i did lmao  
> also yes i made the word count 666 on purpose what about it


	3. Always Carry a Cross

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 1,017]  
> ryan tries to confirm his suspicions while on their way to a ghost hunt, although he denies every piece of evidence he finds.  
> [soundtrack: devil town by cavetown]  
> life's alright in devil town  
> dad has bought a new car now  
> we're fine  
> no one's gonna catch us now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this chapter was labeled 'the suffering chapter' in my notes and honestly writing it definitely made it live up to that name  
> also i'm so sorry this took so long to post!! my outline/notes (which you'll see after the story is completed oo) were very vague for this chapter so most of this was written with the creativity i get when i'm sleep deprived but i hope you enjoy!!

...

Shane scrunched up his nose and stared at Ryan as he plopped down next to him on the breakroom sofa with a pretzel in his hand.

"You sure you're doing okay dude? No offense, but you do not look great at the moment." Shane said, eyeing Ryan's very pajama-esque outfit choice.

"I already told you, I'm perfectly fine." Ryan answered.

Ryan was very much not doing okay and was even less fine.

They would be going to their next filming location the next day and Ryan had taken it upon himself to prove that either 1. the internet was crazy and Shane was just an average human being with a very strange personality and an even stranger lack of fear, or 2. that Shane Alexander Madej, none other than the famed and iconic skeptic, was truly a demon in disguise.

Ryan wasn't really sure which one he was hoping for.

Shane looked at him skeptically, "Well whatever's up with you, you better get it fixed before tomorrow because I am definitely not windhunting with a Ryan that is both exhausted and jetlagged at the same time."

"Oh go fuck yourself, Mr. Skeptic." Ryan laughed as he flicked the salt off his pretzel at Shane's exposed forearm.

"Ow," Shane whispered, rolling down his sleeve to cover up the ugly red marks the grains of salt were leaving on his skin.

' _What the fuck?_ ' Ryan thought.

' _It's okay, that's totally normal...I think. Shane's probably just got sensitive skin, it doesn't mean anything._ ' He rationed.

It meant something.

...

Ryan leaned back in his sucky airport boarding area chair and gave Shane a tired look.

"You ready for a showdown with a demon, big guy?"

"Ehh, for me it's just gonna be a showdown with garbage flashlights and wind." Shane mumbled, still not fully awake.

Ryan rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Yeah, maybe you'll annoy it away with your unrelenting skepticism and stupid jokes."

Shane shrugged and shut his eyes, "What can I say? It's a natural defense system."

"Yeah, well, you use that defense system of yours and I'll stick with my actually functional cross." Ryan said, dangling one of those old tin cross necklaces you find at small town knickknack shops from his fingers.

Ryan could have sworn that the second Shane saw the cross the whites of his eyes began to cloud with darkness as his eyes seemed to automatically move in the opposite direction of the necklace.

"I mean, we haven't encountered any demons so obviously it's been working out for us." Shane said, the discomfort and strain in his voice very clear.

"...Yeah." Was all Ryan could say, far too distracted with trying to come up with a logical explanation for Shane's strange reaction to the cross to think of something funny to respond with.

' _Shane's just... tired, I guess? It's like 5am, he's just loopy. No big deal._ ' He reasoned.

It was a big deal.

...

The boys approached the old church, it's chipped pale yellow paint and low ceiling turning the entire building into the epitome of a cutesy small town church that seemed far too wholesome and truly innocent for any person to feel uncomfortable whike standing in it, much less from merely looking at the front door.

It filled Shane with anxiety.

He had done a good job hiding his pain when getting pelted with salt and had somehow managed to turn his extreme discomfort from looking at the cross into a casual glance to the side (he really had not been convincing with either, Ryan was just in denial and Shane thought that meant he was doing good), but he was certain his friend would question why he seemed so panicky in such a safe and peaceful building.

"Dude, what are you waiting for? C'mon." Ryan said as he continued walking towards the building.

"I'm coming, just- what exactly are we here for?" He asked slowly, trying to stall their entrance.

Ryan just rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Holy water, obviously. Do you honestly think I would go into a demon infested building without any?"

"Oh, right. Didn't remember you were afraid of squeaky floors and drafts." Shane remarked, raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever, man." Ryan said with a small smile as he walked ahead of Shane and into the church, "Besides, it'll only take like 15 minutes."

From the moment he stepped inside the foyer, Shane hated everything about being in the place.

He could feel it ever so slowly becoming more and more stressful to keep up his glamour, and knew his normally very calm and relaxed posture had visibly stiffened.

Ryan, however, noticed none of this as he was far too preoccupied with chatting with the church's father.

Shane felt like a thousand eyes were staring and judging him for daring to stand in a holy place without immediately disintegrating, but he ignored this feeling and instead focused on making sure his eyes didn't turn back to their actual color as he desperately tried to avoid looking at the crucifixes that decorated the room.

"Okay, got my- uh, you okay Shane?" Ryan asked, looking at the the discomfort obviously displayed on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Shane lied.

Ryan eyed the bead of sweat that was forming on Shane's face, "...No reason."

Much to Shane's relief, after a brief 'thank you and goodbye' to the father on Ryan's part, they stepped out of the building and walked back to the car.

"Alright," Ryan said, shutting the driver's side door, "You uh, you ready to take on a demon?"

Shane rolled his eyes and laughed, "The only demons in there are the ones you've imagined to explain old building noises."

"Meh, fuck you," Ryan chuckled, flicking holy water at him in response.

Shane flinched at the water hitting his skin and gave a weak laugh, as if that would distract Ryan.

Ryan pretended not to notice the quiet sizzling sound he heard the second the holy water touched Shane's skin as he turned the key in the car's ignition.

That was one thing he couldn't explain away.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ryan's getting more and more convinced oh boy  
> also if yall have any ideas for what demon infested place they're visiting let me know in the comments!!


	4. You Aren't Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 1,021]  
> shane attempts to keep the demon in their latest haunted location from hurting ryan, completely unbeknownst to him.  
> [soundtrack: what you know by two door cinema club]  
> and i can tell just what you want  
> you don't want to be alone  
> and i can't say it's what you know  
> but you've known it the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo it's ghoul hunting time babeyy

...

"Alright, you guys ready?" TJ asked from behind the camera.

Ryan nodded and sat back in his folding chair as Shane gave the cameraman a thumbs up.

"Okay, 3... 2...1.... rolling!"

Ryan immediately launched into his typical beginning-of-episode spiel, "This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we explore the Trans-Alleghany Lunatic Asylum in Weston, West Virginia as part of our ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?"

Shane let out a dramatic sigh and shook his head, staring directly into the camera.

"Do you even know what happened here?" Ryan said in disbelief.

"As a matter of fact, I don't!" Shane said, tossing his hands up in defeat.

"Well buckle up, big guy, cause I'm about to tell you." Ryan responded confidently.

"Oh, shit!" Shane laughed.

If he was being honest, Shane zoned out around 45 seconds into Ryan's speech in favor of focusing on telling any ghosts that had stuck around the nasty old building to kindly and formally _fuck off._

_'I'm the only one who gets to mess with him, got it? Make your spooky little creaks and footsteps all you want, but none of you get to actually scare him, capiche?'_ He announced to the ghosts.

A few quiet wails echoed in Shane's mind, which he interpreted as the ghosts saying message received.

Towards the tail end of the several cries, Shane heard a noise that sent an icy shock throughout his entire body.

A growl.

A deep, low, demonic growl that silenced any sound the ghosts had made, one far more powerful than he could ever make, no matter how hard he tried.

_'Fuck.'_

At this moment, Shane decided it best to tune back in to Ryan's ghost speech and try to learn as much as he could about whatever had been strong enough to make a noise like that.

"...Visitors also reported accounts of allegedly demonic activity within the asylum, instances including burns, growls, demonic voices, scratches, being choked, and even one encounter where a man was aggressively thrown against a wall, thus breaking multiple bones." Ryan continued in his theory voice, unaware that Shane had not heard a single word of the beginning of the story.

"Wait, what?" Shane chuckled, hoping the false disbelief in his voice was covering up his slowly-building panic.

"What?" Ryan said, stifling his laughter.

"He got thrown into the wall? Just got fuckin' tossed across the room like a big ol' sack or whatever?" He laughed.

Ryan cackled, "Yeah! The demon just got pissed at his existence and threw him!"

"God, okay, if that happens to either of us tonight, I will believe in ghosts forever, no matter what." Shane wheezed out, desperately hoping his stress wasn't evident in his voice.

"Perfect. I- I sincerely hope it happens just so I can tell you I was right all along before I run for my life." Ryan giggled.

...

"Okay, so this is the third floor, where the owners say people have reported seeing the ghost of a patient named James who died here about 80 years ago." Ryan said, swinging his flashlight across the span of the decrepit room.

"Ooh, how spooky. Think he'll decide to show up and shove me into the wall?" Shane joked.

"Eh, let's hope not. As much as I'd love to see your face when you realize I was right the entire time, I feel like you having a broken neck might be a bit of an issue." Ryan pointed out.

Before he could respond, Shane's attention was snapped to the corner of the room by a shadowy mass.

He was almost certain that what he normally would have dismissed as his shadow was in fact, not his shadow at all, so he let his eyes revert back to their natural black-and-red, ooky spooky demonic state to see what the form he saw truly was.

The dark figure went from a small fleeting shadow to a huge black mass that seemed to drip darkness, save for it's blank, dead, red eyes the second Shane blinked his eyes back open.

It was most definitely a demon, and one higher ranked and much more powerful than Shane at that.

Great.

On a scale of 1-15, most demons they encountered on investigations were around a 5 or 6 on the danger meter. Seeing as Shane was about a 12, they usually left him and Ryan alone, save for a few creepy sounds they made to freak Ryan out.

The one standing in front of him was more of a 14.

That demon was also getting closer and closer to Ryan, which was not going to fly as long as Shane was around.

_'Hey, shitbag, leave him alone.'_

The demon merely glanced at Shane and squinted before continuing to inch even nearer to Ryan, who was now rambling about the history of the building.

_'Oh, you ass, don't you fucking do it-'_

He got a cold glare from the demon as he shifted his eyes back to human mode just in time to see another shadow person run in front of Ryan, followed by a loud whisper saying something that sounded like cryptic gibberish.

"What the FUCK?!" Ryan shouted, "Tell me you saw that too!"

Shane shrugged, "Yeah, but I don't- It's not a ghost, it's just like a, uhh, funny shadow and... old building noises. Nothing worth getting all freaked out over." Shane fumbled for an explanation.

"Jesus christ... I hate everything about this place already, but you're making it insufferable, you know that?" Ryan remarked.

"Yup, that's what I do." Shane said, his laugh coming out far more nervous than he wanted it to.

Ryan turned his back to Shane to stare at the wall were the shadow had been and shook his head, "I swear to god there was something here. I heard it and saw it. I know I did."

Shane looked up with his eyes in their natural form and saw the mass of darkness hovering around Ryan.

He let a bit of his glamour fade as he silently threatened the demon, his shadow growing horns, wings, and a tail.

"There's nothing here, Ryan. Trust me."

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's only been one chapter with it and shane already wants to kick the demon's ass wow  
> also just a heads up: the next 4 chapters are going to take a little while longer to be written because of all that happens in them so please bear that in mind!!


	5. Far More Than Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 1,383]  
> the demon starts going after ryan and shane tries to stop it before he is forced to reveal himself.  
> [soundtrack: demons by hayley kiyoko]  
> my misery  
> it's holding me  
> won't let me speak  
> please forgive me, i've got demons in my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i pulled an all nighter to finish this so i really hope yall like it

...

"I swear to god I saw something!" 

"Ryan, it's probably just a trick of the light." Shane sighed.

"God, you're such a fucking asshole, man." Ryan grumbled as he continued towards the next room.

"Yeah, I get that a lot." Shane said, glancing up to where the demon had been hovering just seconds earlier. 

The second Ryan stepped into the doorway of the room next door, he was immediately hit with an overwhelming wave of dizziness and exhaustion that caused him to stumble backward.

"Woah dude, you okay?" Shane said as he stepped forward to help him, "What happened?"

"I... was just walking through the door and all of a sudden I got so lightheaded I felt like I couldn't stand," Ryan squinted into the darkness through the doorway of the room in front of him, "That's also the room where a visitor got thrown into a wall, so that's perfect..." He muttered breathlessly.

"Oh, that's, uhh... that's not great," Shane admitted.

"Yeah, no shit."

 _'Hey! Dipshit! I said to leave him alone!'_ Shane yelled at the demon.

All he heard in response was an ugly, mangled hiss that rang throughout his entire brain.

 _'No.'_ It growled back.

...

"Oh I hate this, I hate this, I hate this." Ryan whispered, his voice full of panic.

Shane rolled his eyes and sighed, "Dude, it's an empty room, what is there even to hate?"

"What do you mean 'what is there to hate'?!" Ryan threw his arms wide open, "I almost passed out when I tried to enter and a guy got thrown into the wall here, there are so many goddamn things to hate!"

"Well... yeah okay, fair point I guess." Shane stuttered.

"God, you're a fucking psychopath," Ryan mumbled, "Anyways, we've decided to do our solo sessions in here because we're complete idiots who apparently don't think things through very much."

"You're gonna lose your mind in there!"

"Yeah, I probably am, I'm fucking scared!"

"I mean, it's not like there's really anything in there so you'll be okay."

"Mhm."

Ryan would not be okay.

...

"Oh god, oh fuck, okay, uhh... my name is Ryan, and I'm here to find out what's in here." He hesitated before continuing with a scared shudder, "What are you? Are you a demon?"

He shifted his weight from foot to foot and he scanned the room.

"Are you the reason I got light-headed entering the room?" He asked, his voice wavering.

There was a few seconds of silence before a voice like nails on a chalkboard responded _'yes.'_

Ryan shrieked and booked it to the other side of the room, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

"You okay in there, Ryan?" Shane asked from the other room.

"NO THE FUCK I'M NOT! WHO THE HELL SAID THAT?!" He shouted back.

"Do you want me to come in? You really don't sound great at the moment," Shane called. 

On one hand, Ryan was absolutely terrified. On the other, this would definitely be memorable and important evidence for everyone involved or interested with the show. 

Ryan took a deep breath and steadied himself, "No, I still have 5 minutes left. I think I'll be okay until then." He replied shakily.

That last bit was a complete lie, and a lie that both him and Shane knew was total bullshit. 

"Who was that? Who just said 'yes'?" He called into the dark room.

The moment he finished his sentence, Ryan's entire body suddenly went cold as the whole room seemingly dropped 30 degrees.

Ryan whooped and screamed for a good 15 seconds before finally being able to speak, "Was that you?! Did you just make the room colder?!" 

A shrieking and ugly noise echoed through the room in response, causing Ryan to scream at the top of his lungs before running to the door and shouting at Shane, "HOW MUCH TIME DO I HAVE LEFT?!" 

"Like 10 seconds, why?"

"Tell me you heard that noise too!"

"What noise?"

"WHAT THE FUCK! How am I the only one who heard that?!"

"It's-it's whatever man, just come out."

"DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!" Ryan yelled as he ran out of the disgusting room.

He bent over with his hands on his knees and took shaky breaths before sighing and looking up at his concerned counterpart.

"If you go in there, it's going to be single handedly the dumbest thing you have ever done." He breathed.

"Ooh, you think?"

...

"Alrighty-o demons," Shane stepped into the room, "Your buddy Shane is here to chat."

He swept his flashlight across the room and glanced up at the ceiling.

 _'Hey pal, just a quick question for you: what the fuck do you think you're doing?'_ He growled.

"Not much in here, huh?" He taunted aloud, hoping actually saying something would get the demon to come out faster than mentally yelling at it.

A chilling hiss reverberated through his mind, one that probably would have made Ryan lose his mind on the spot had he been able to hear it.

 _'It's really no big deal, lowlife. Just terrifying these idiots for a little fun. Why should you care?'_ The demon asked.

 _'Because it's an asshole thing to do? Just knock it off and leave these people alone.'_ Shane shot back.

 _'Aww, did you make a friend? Did the oh-so-powerful Shanedej meet some nice little human on his big important mission?'_ It drawled.

 _'Yeah, I did, and I'd do anything to protect him, so I think it'd be in both of our best interests if you left him the fuck alone.'_ He growled, the tiniest bit of a deep red horn poking through his hair. 

A horrible, twisted, screaming sound Shane recognized as the demon's laugh rang in his ears.

 _'Oh, my. You really do care about this human, don't you? Ah, what a shame it would be if, somehow, for some awful reason, you were forced to, oh, I don't know... reveal yourself to him, the poor scared boy, now wouldn't it?'_ It purred, if you could even call it that.

Shane's eyes went involuntarily wide at what the demon was implying.

_'You wouldn't.'_

_'You can't protect him forever, fool.'_ It whispered before going completely silent.

A yell from the other room jolted Shane out of his conversation.

"Shane! Come back out!" Ryan screeched.

"I still have like 3 minutes left," Shane tried his best to not sound worried, "but okay." He added.

He stepped out of the room and was immediately greeted by Ryan running up to him and aggressively pointing at a dark red mark on his forearm.

"Do you see this? It felt like my arm was burning so I look down and lo and behold, there's a fucking burn mark!" He yelled.

"Well that's, uh- that's certainly odd." Shane stuttered.

Ryan blinked slowly at Shane before throwing his arms out and stressfully exclaimed, "Are you fucking kidding me?! I hear voices, see figures, the room I'm in gets like 10 times colder than the rest of the building, and I get burnt all on camera and you still don't believe in the para- ow." Ryan cut himself off.

"What?" Shane asked.

Ryan's face went pale as he raised his arm to show 3 angry red scratches over his burn mark.

"What do you have to say to that, Mr. Skeptic?" He shuddered.

"That's-" Shane began before losing his train of thought as the hallway they stood in rapidly dropped in temperature.

"What was that?" Ryan whispered.

"A draft or something?" Shane shrugged, "I mean seriously, Ryan, not everything is because of ghouls."

A draft would have made sense to Ryan, except it was followed by a swift flash of heat that was not explainable on a cold, late night.

"What just-" Before he could finish his sentence, Ryan was picked up and slammed into the wall.

A vaguely human shaped figure that looked like a solid and 3D shadow with horns and glowing red eyes materialized out of the darkness and hovered above Ryan.

Ryan screamed as loud as physically possible and desperately tried to run away as the demon crawled in front of him, creating an invisible barrier between him and Shane.

 _' **Well Shanedej, the clock is ticking! You said you'd do anything to protect him, didn't you?'**_ It cackled.

_'Fuck.'_

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i had to physically restrain myself from making the demon swear because even though it would absolutely ruin the aesthetic i think it would be really funny


	6. Banish Your Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 1,642]  
> shane must risk revealing what he truly is to ryan in order to save him from a demon  
> [soundtrack: gasoline by halsey]  
> you can't wake up  
> this is not a dream  
> you're part of a machine  
> he is not a human being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TW: DESCRIPTIONS OF GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, BLOOD, AND MENTIONS OF DEATH**  
> IT'S A THROWDOWN SHOWDOWN BABEYYYYY

  
...

Okay, this was bad.

Like bad bad.

Shane's been in plenty of testy situations with Ryan at locations, but this was a whole new level of bad. 

Usually it was more of a these-tiny-demons-are-getting-way-too-close-for-comfort-and-it's-not-acceptable kind of bad, but currently it was a holy-shit-we're-gonna-die-no-matter-what-I-do kind of bad, which was undoubtedly the worst kind of bad, especially when it was in a situation including demons.

At the moment, Shane had two options--  
He could either go with option A, which was his least favorite: sit passively and do nothing and watch as his best friend was terrorized and murdered by the one thing he feared more than anything.

Then there was option B, which he hated just as much, but for completely different reasons: he could swallow down his fears, come to terms with the fact that this would end badly no matter what he did, and reveal himself, on camera, in front of Ryan, and fight a much more powerful demon in order to keep his best friend safe, which would almost certainly end with Ryan freaking out at him and inevitably leaving him for good and hating him for the rest of time.

That was the part Shane hated the most.

Of course, there was always the wonderful possibility that he would successfully defeat the demon and Ryan would be totally okay with Shane being an ancient, all powerful, supernatural creature and they could go on with their merry lives, but that had a chance about as slim as the hot daga coming back.

Nonetheless, Shane decided that option B was his best choice.

Was it? Probably not. But anything was better than watching as Ryan died.

...

Shane took a hard swallow and glared at the demon, who was now having a great time keeping Ryan from running for dear life.

"Hey, asswipe!" Shane shouted, catching the demon's attention as it turned it's head to meet his gaze.

"Back the fuck off him." He hissed.

" _ **Oh? And why should I do that? I'm having far too much fun at the moment.**_ " It laughed, turning around to face Ryan and rising above him.

Ryan was now screaming at the top of his lungs and frantically glancing between Shane and the shadowy demonic figure that was now towering above him.

Shane threw himself in between Ryan and the demon, his hands turning into blood red claws.

"Because I fucking said so."

The demon cackled and leaned in close to Shane, " _ **Oh! My, I'm simply horrified,**_ " It mocked, " _ **Well, then, try it, underling! Save him! You, the great Shanedej, must be able to do some substantial thing to banish me in one grand slight of hand!**_ " 

It laughed again, this time ever more cold and raucous than the first, " _ **Please, I beg of you, do it! Really, you sniveling fool, did you truly believe you could save him? That really is-** _"

The demon's sentence was ended prematurely via Shane's clawed fist making hard contact with its face.

" ** _...Heartbreaking._ **" It finished, its voice growing more and more impatient and threatening as it wiped softly glowing blood from where the nose of its nearly featureless face should be.

" _ **Alright, you inferior imbecile. You genuinely are that idiotic that you would dare to fight me for this worthless human?**_ " It spat.

"Yeah. Yeah I am." Shane responded coldly.

Shane had allowed for almost all of his more demonic form to shine through, his eyes now completely black, save for a thin glowing red rim where his iris used to be. Deep red horns sprouted through his hair and spiraled upwards, coming to sharp points at the tips.

Massive batlike wings with huge, pointed and spiked spines rising out of the top were folded tightly against his back, ending just above where an arrow tail began, both the same red as his horns.

Seeing this sent Ryan into a shocked trance that left him staring open-mouthed at his friend's extra appendages that most certainly didn't exist a minute ago, and even more certainly weren't human.

" _ **Well then, insolent halfwit. Let's begin, shall we?**_ " The demon growled.

Just moments after saying that, the demon took a violent scratch at Shane's neck, causing him to jump to the side before throwing himself at it.

The demon shrieked and tossed Shane off its back, slamming him hard against the concrete floor in a way that likely would have been fatal to most humans.

The demon regained its defensive posture, taking shallow breaths and glaring daggers at Shane, but not moving from its place in front of Ryan.

_Ryan._

_He had to get it away from Ryan._

What was the quickest way to do that?

Punches, obviously.

Shane's fist collided with the demon's face, sending it stumbling into the wall behind it.

It did _not_ care for that.

The demon ran at Shane, clawing at his horns, eyes, wings, and really anything it saw on him. It rammed him into the ground another time, making him groan as he attempted to get back up again, only to be knocked to the floor once more.

Shane held his hand over a large cut on his side that was now bleeding glowing blood, staggering foward and scratching straight across the demon's bright red eyes with his free arm, it's hisses echoing throughout the room.

It punched Shane square in the nose in retaliation, the chemical taste of blood filling his mouth, tears dripping down his face.

Shane was growing more and more sluggish and tired, his exhaustion becoming more and more apparent in his movements, which the demon took full advantage of.

It lashed out at Shane, maliciously scratching him then running to his opposite side every time he turned to fight back, making him spin in dazed circles every few seconds, attacking him every time he hesitated to compose himself and making him feel even worse than he already did.

He was tired, battered, scratched, bleeding and desperately just wanted to go home. He undoubtedly wasn't thinking clearly either, which probably made him decide that in one final last-ditch effort to win a fight he was clearly being overpowered in, lunging blindly at the demon was the best thing to do.

He wasn't even sure what he was trying to do to the demon, but throwing himself onto its shoulders had definitely gotten its attention free from Ryan, which was good enough for him.

The demon growled and pushed itself backwards, slamming Shane into the concrete wall and cutting his back open even more than it already had been. 

The demon proceeded to attempt to throw Shane off by any means necessary, including crashing into walls and clawing at his head. Shane shot his eyes tight and wrapped his arms around its horns, holding on for dear life when a horrible, albeit useful idea struck him.

Shane took a deep breath, tightened his grip around the demon's horns, and prepared himself for making the worst decision ever. 

He kicked off the demon's back as hard as possible and launched himself directly into the floor.

_Snap._

A powerful, mangled scream filled the air as Shane landed. Panicking, he looked down to see a huge, twisted black horn with a jagged and broken base in his bloodied hands. 

_'Well, fuck.'_ He thought.

The now one-horned demon whipped around and glared at Shane, its seething rage displayed perfectly on its empty face. It shot towards Shane, pure hatred glittering in its eyes.

Shane threw his arms up over his face and wrapped his wings around his body, bracing himself for the inevitable pain he was about to be in when a creak echoed throughout the room, causing the demon to stop in its tracks.

Shane turned to look at whatever the demon was staring at, only to see Ryan shoved into the corner opposite where he had been trapped earlier, a look of pure horror on his face. 

A quiet laugh escaped the demon as it slowly approached Ryan.

" _ **I must say, I am quite impressed with you, Shanedej. Keeping me from your sweet little human friend that long? Impeccable.**_ " It chuckled.

" _ **Such a shame you fools must both die now. And by my hands, no less. How awful.** _" It drawled, although its voice was cold and empty.

Ryan started hyperventilating, panicking over the knowledge that holy shit, I'm about to be murdered by a demon, and let himself mentally say goodbye to all those he knew and loved in the moment the demon had paused to stare at him.

Shane, however, took this as an opportunity.

Pulling himself up, Shane tiptoed backwards through the room and charged.

Shane bodyslammed into the demon, knocking it to the ground with a thud.   
And it didn't get back up.

It wasn't until he was slumped over with his left hand on his knee, the other tenderly nursing a bloody wound on his stomach that Shane noticed a neon green and orange plastic object that had been thrown aside in the mess of all that had happened:

Ryan's holy water gun.

Still clutching his glowing injury, Shane limped over to the goofy watergun sitting in the middle of the room and picked it up.

He turned and walked over to where the demon was slowly regaining consciousness, looking at it for just a second before spraying it in holy water.

It gave a weak hiss and slunk back into the shadows, melting into the background and probably going back to where it came from.

"Holy _fuck_ , that would have come in handy earlier." He sighed, loosely folding his wings against his back.

Shane's attention was captured by heavy and quick breathing coming from the corner, and was instantly reminded of the situation he was in.

"Okay, Ryan, I know this looks bad and I promise I can explain, but first things first, are you o-"

"WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!"

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy hell i am so sorry it took so long for me to get this posted


	7. Blind to the Signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 937]  
> ryan does not take the news that his best friend is a demon in disguise well, and shane takes ryan's reaction even worse.  
> [soundtrack: natural villain by the man who]  
> living just fine   
> not waiting on you  
> you machiavellian   
> natural villain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look it's the chapter i got the idea for the story's name from

  
...

"Ry, please just-"

"NO! DON'T YOU FUCKING 'RY' ME, SHANE! THIS IS NOT A SITUATION THAT CALLS FOR CASUAL NICKNAMES! I ALMOST GOT MURDERED BY A DEMON! AND YOU FUCKING FOUGHT IT! WHAT THE FUCK!" Ryan shouted.

"You say that like you expected me to just watch you die." Shane said, concern displayed on his face.

"I EXPECTED YOU TO RUN! I'D WANT YOU TO HELP IF IT WAS A PERSON, BUT THAT WAS AN ACTUAL GODDAMN REAL LIFE DEMON OF HELL! AND YOU WENT HAND TO HAND WITH IT!" His voice faltered, "Or... claw to claw."

Shane looked down at the blood red claws that had replaced his hands and shuddered.

"Ryan, I uh- I'm..." 

"You're possessed? Is that what you are? Are you possessing my friend?" Ryan finished for him.

"What? No, I'm not possessed, I'm-" Shane gulped, "Uh, Ryan... I'm a demon."

Ryan's eyes went wide as tennis balls as he stood in shocked silence for a couple seconds.

"No. No you're not. You aren't. You- you don't believe in demons. You can't be one. You can't be something you don't believe in." He denied.

"Ryan, what other reason would there be for all this?" Shane pointed out, gesturing to his horns, "I'm a demon. And I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"I- I don't... I don't know."

Ryan's lip quivered and he turned his back to Shane, staying that way for a good 3 minutes before finally speaking.

"I didn't wanna believe it." He said quietly, sounding like he might burst into tears and second now.

"I explained away all the evidence even when it was staring me right in the face. Because I was too afraid to face it. The salt, the cross, the church, the holy water, all of it." He continued, "I was so, so blind to every sign I saw."

"Ryan..." Shane trailed off.

"Everyone else saw them, so why couldn't I?" Ryan whispered, his voice hollow and broken and practically radiating pain.

" _Why couldn't I see the fucking signs?!_ " He shouted, whipping around to look Shane in the eye.

Shane took a step back in shock and opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but no words came out.

"Why? What was the point? Why lie to me?" Ryan questioned.

"I was just trying to protect you!" Shane exclaimed.

"Why do you care?! You don't have emotions! Why are you even here?!" 

"I promise I can explain if you would just listen to me, okay?"

"Then do it. Explain to me what the hell all of this is about. I'm all ears." Ryan demanded.

Shane sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Okay. So. I'm a demon. I'm pretty sure we just went over that so I'll just skip to the point: I was sent here because you were getting too close to uncovering the truth."

"Wait, what? What do you mean?" Ryan cut in.

"What I mean is that all the head honchos downstairs saw what you were doing with unsolved, and realized pretty damn quickly that you were actually serious about finding out about all this paranormal stuff and they got panicky," Shane answered.

"So they told me to go start a life up here and scare away any evidence you might find so they wouldn't be exposed, but I guess I got too attached for my own good." He explained.

Ryan pursed his lips and stared at the floor for a few moments, processing what he had just heard.

"Bullshit." He said finally.

"...What?" Shane asked, confusion evident in his voice.

"Bullshit." Ryan repeated, "You're a demon. You can't tell the truth. You don't want to tell the truth. You only saved me because you wanted to keep fucking with me everytime we go these places."

"Ryan, I promise that is not at all true."

"Yeah, sure. What other reason would you have had to stick around other than wanting to kill me when you got bored of scaring me?"

Shane was taken aback, hurt painted all across his face.

"I stuck around because you're my friend, and I fought that thing off you because you're my friend. I did everything because you're my friend. I never told you because I was terrified you would get scared and leave without a second thought." 

That one hurt Ryan.

Yeah, Shane was a demon. The very thing he was most scared of and dead set on finding. But he was Ryan's best friend, and he just couldn't fathom ever leaving him.

' _But demons are all malevolent, evil, satanic creatures of pure anguish and hatred, right? Everything about Shane was just an act he put on to fool me._ ' He told himself.

But it all still felt so genuine. All their inside jokes, the casual teasing, the bickering over stupid topics, everything. Their friendship just seemed so real to Ryan.

' _I mean, Shane definitely wouldn't have fistfought a demon that was trying to hurt me if all he wanted in the end was to kill me himself. He would have just joined in._ ' He reasoned, ' _If he hasn't tried to hurt me yet, then he never wanted to do it in the first place. We've known each other 3 years, something would have happened by now, right?_ '

He had made up his mind.

Ryan took a deep breath and looked Shane in his sad and scared eyes with his wings wrapped around his arms, a feat that terrified him as he was definitely not used to his best friend having glowing red and black eyes and bright red dragon wings.

"Shane, I-"

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hAHAA CLIFFHANGER (even though i'm pretty sure you know what happens)


	8. You Are Safe Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 500]  
> ryan has two options: forget every good moment spent with shane and run, or forgive him and continue their friendship.  
> ryan can't bear to chose one of them.  
> [soundtrack: devil by arms akimbo]  
> there's a devil in this town  
> swear he's up to no good  
> there's a devil in this town  
> and i'm begging him to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know that one interview with rick riordan where someone asked him how it felt to make small children cry from his cliffhangers??  
> to which he responded "it warms my heart, thank you :))"??  
> yeah that was me reading yalls comments on the last chapter

  
...

"Shane, I- I don't know what to say, really." Ryan stuttered as he stared at his shoes.

Shane's heart sunk and his wings drooped.

' _This is it._ ' He thought, ' _This is goodbye._ '

"You're a demon, right? The thing I've been desperately trying to get proof of for years. And you kept it from me for years." Ryan said with a timid voice that was still a little choked up from earlier.

"Yes, I did and I'm so, so sorry, Ryan, I should never have-" Shane began to rant.

"That's not what I'm getting at here." Ryan interjected.

Shane raised an eyebrow and looked at Ryan quizzically. "Then... what exactly are you getting at?"

"What I mean is, I should be mad at you. I should be screaming and yelling and betrayed and hurt, but I'm just... not?" Ryan said slowly, "Like obviously I'm scared shitless right now and I really wanna cry, but I'm not angry at you. And I really don't know why."

A wave of relief washed over Shane, though it was quickly followed by confusion.

"If you aren't mad at me, then why did you, y'know... freak out?" He asked

"I just found out my best friend is a demon, I think I'm allowed to freak out a little!"

"Yeah, stupid question, sorry."

Ryan sighed and kicked at the ground. "I'm just... you wouldn't have fought that thing if you didn't want me around, and you definitely wouldn't have fought that hard if you just wanted me dead in the end."

"That's because I don't. You're my friend, Ryan." Shane furrowed his brows.

"Yeah, you told me that. And I really wanna believe you. But the little voice in my head keeps screaming not to trust you and ignore everything we've been through and done together, and I just can't help but do it."

You could almost see the second Shane's heart broke clean in half.

"Can't do what?" He asked.

"Believe you! You just got your ass kicked by a demon just to keep me safe!" Ryan exclaimed before quieting down, "And... even if you are an actual, real, staring me in the face, all-powerful demon of hell... You're my best friend, and I trust you."

Shane's face broke out into a huge fanged grin, which admittedly made Ryan jump a little.

"You really mean it? You're really not scared of me?" He asked.

"Oh, no, I'm absolutely terrified right now, but I think that's called for considering the circumstances." Ryan deadpanned.

Shane chuckled, "Alright, yeah, that's fair. But still, you're really okay with me, being, uh..." He gestured broadly at himself, "Y'know?"

"Yeah, I am." Ryan laughed.

"Good," Shane smiled, "It'd be pretty hard for me to be anything else."

"But," Ryan stuck his pointer finger in the air, "Can we please go somewhere and talk about it? I think I have just about 80,000 questions to ask you about all this."

"Oh boy," Shane muttered, "Yeah, I think I know somewhere we can talk."

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao wouldn't it have been funny if i had destroyed their entire friendship in a single chapter


	9. Meet Me in the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 851]  
> shane answers (and avoids) all of ryan's questions about demons in a sketchy waffle house  
> [soundtrack: meet me in the woods by lord huron]  
> the truth is stranger than all my dreams  
> holy darkness got a hold on me  
> i have seen what the darkness does  
> say goodbye to who i was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me?? losing motivation and not updating for over a month?? it's more likely than you think  
> but seriously i am so so sorry it took me this long to get the new chapter out but i really hope you like it  
> anyways enjoy this chapter that i wrote in purely because i couldn't fit a 'waffle houses are portals to hell' joke in anywhere else

...

"A fucking _waffle house?_ " Ryan asked in disbelief, staring wide-eyed at the poorly illuminated sign. 

"And one that's in the middle of the woods at 3 in the morning at that? I swear to god, it's like you want to die." 

Shane just laughed and shut the passenger side door.

He had hidden his horns and wings and such the moment they had left the asylum, although he clearly wasn't trying too hard to keep up the appearance as they tended to flicker in and out of existence every few minutes, an occurance that nearly gave Ryan a heart attack.

"Pfft, it's not like I can anyway."

"Ignoring that incredibly disturbing comment, aren't you worried someone's gonna hear us talking about, uh... y'know, you?"

"Please, Ryan, it's a goddamn waffle house, it's probably a portal to hell."

"Wait, seriously?" Ryan asked as he propped open the door to the building.

"It's not important," Shane said, ducking his head under the low doorway and steering Ryan to the nearest empty table.

Ryan raised an eyebrow and sat down, "I feel like sitting in a portal to hell is pretty important."

"Eh, we'll be fine."

An exhausted and dazed waitress interrupted their conversation to take their order and the two sat in silence for a few moments after receiving it before Shane spoke up.

"Anyways, back at the asylum you said you had like 80,000 questions about demons for me, so fire away. Have at it."

Ryan's eyes lit up like Christmas lights.

"Wow, okay, I didn't think you'd actually let me ask them but whatever," He breathed, "Okay, uhh... Most important question right off the bat: are ghosts real?"

"... No comment."

"You can't answer like that, dickhead!"

"Well, I just did, so fuck you," Shane said, shoveling a chunk of waffle into his mouth.

Ryan glared daggers at Shane and bitterly took a bite of his food.

"Ugh, just- nevermind. There are more questions to be asked."

"Oh goodie."

"Shut up dude, you agreed to this."

Shane rolled his eyes.

"But seriously, demons are supposed to be really old, right? So how old really are you, cause I'm guessing it's not actually 34." Ryan asked.

Shane leaned back in his seat and stared at his plate for five minutes looking very frustrated, like he was desperately trying to remember something that just wasn't there.

"I think... around... maybe... 6000 years or so? Yeah, that sounds right." He said finally.

Ryan's jaw dropped.

"What the everloving fuck?! You're fucking ancient!"

"Yeah? I've eluded to it before!"

"I thought you were just helping describe words! I didn't think you were referring to yourself!"

"Demons are old! What did you expect?!"

"Not that!" Ryan exclaimed, resting his head in the palm of his hand, "God, okay, moving on..."

He buried his head in his hands for a few seconds before popping up like a lightbulb had just gone off in his head.

"Can you possess people?" He asked.

"Yeah, but-"

"Are you possessing someone right now?" Ryan cut him off.

Shane rolled his eyes "No,"

"Am I possessed?"

"Stop it."

Ryan gave an evil smirk and giggled to himself, "Fine, but do you have any other like... demon powers or whatever?" He whispered the last bit.

"Oh, yeah," Shane started counting on his fingers, "I can shapeshift, teleport, see supernatural stuff, people can sell their soul to me, and demons have this thing where we can telepathically talk to each other-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Do you talk shit about me with other demons?"

"Of all the things I just said, _that_ is the one that concerns you most?" Shane deadpanned.

"I gotta know man!" Ryan tossed his arms open.

Shane blinked slowly, "Next question."

Ryan grumbled something about just wanting to know if ghosts thought he was weird while he absentmindedly drowned his waffles in syrup.

"You have got to have questions more interesting than _'Ooh I wonder if Shane is secretly makin' little jokes about me with his funny little demon pals ooh!'_ " Shane mocked.

Ryan crossed his arms and scrunched his nose in a poor effort to conceal his giggles, "As a matter of fact, I do. For example, how powerful are you in- demon terms, I guess."

"I'm gonna say about a 12," Shane answered, tapping his chin.

"Oh, like on a scale from like 1-100?"

"No, on a scale from 1-15."

Ryan just took a deep breath and rubbed his temples.

"O-kay, so if you're a 12, and were struggling against that..." He hesitated like he wasn't sure if he should even bother finishing his sentence, " _Thing,_ then how strong was it?"

Shane blew out through his nose and raised an eyebrow, "I'm going with like a high 14, like getting real close to 15."

Ryan looked like his brain had nearly stopped functioning.

"If it was that much more powerful than you, then how in the hell did you take it down?!" He exclaimed.

"Hey, immortal demon or not, nobody's immune to head trauma!"

"I'll keep that in mind next time you try to scare me on location."

"Hey!"

"Ha!"

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always hate writing the ending :((  
> quick question for all yall reading this, but since the next chapter is an epilogue and then it's over, would you be interested if i added my notes and deleted scenes from the story as kindof a blooper reel chapter?? it's totally cool of you're not into it i just thought it might be fun to see what's goes on behind the scenes


	10. A Brand New Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [word count: 1,113]  
> shane decides to prank a low ranking demon inhabiting a location, using ryan as the bait  
> [soundtrack: ghosts of beverley drive by death cab for cutie]  
> i don't know why, i don't know why  
> i return to the scenes of these crimes  
> where the hedgerows slowly wind  
> through the ghosts of beverly drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my g o d i am so sorry this took so long to get out!! school started getting tougher around the time i last posted and i had some family issues and i came out as trans and had a ton of art pieces with very near deadlines to get done and i was way too stressed to write with all that happening but i hope yall can enjoy this little epilogue

...

"Come on, you fucking losers! Kill me! Rip out each and every one of my teeth and boil them before my very eyes! Eat 'em like popcorn!"

"Jesus _christ_ ," Ryan wheezed, "You, my friend, have issues."

Shane gave a crooked grin and laughed, "Don't I know it."

The boys continued bickering, Shane threatening the ghosts and Ryan scolding him for it as he swept his flashlight around the living room of the Victorian era home they were standing in.

"-Can you not tell the demons to follow me home _for once_?" Ryan cried.

"Nah," Shane said coolly, turning his back to both Ryan and the camera.

He flicked his eyes to their red and black color and scanned the room, a habit he had developed not too long after the duo had first started ghost hunting.

Ryan had found out about this routine a few months ago when he caught Shane death staring a chair, demon eyes shining like flashlights, because it apparently had a very irritating ghost sitting on it. 

He had since taken this as an opportunity to change the equipment batteries, seeing as Shane wasn't going to do anything while he was checking the room.

Nothing had caught Shane's attention so far, which was always a good sign in his book.

He switched his eyes back to their human state just as a low hiss echoed through his brain, making his breath hitch.

Shane looked slowly upwards only to see a gargoyle-like form composed entirely of black vapor lurking in the home's rafters and clawing at the wooden beams.

Great.

"I don't mean to alarm you, but we have a bit of a demon issue." He mumbled.

Ryan sucked in a shallow breath and set down the camera he was fiddling with, "Please tell me you're joking..."

"Nope," Shane whispered, his brown irises twinged with red as he watched the shadowy creature crawl along the intricately painted ceiling.

"Is it dangerous?" Ryan whispered back.

Based off the fact that Shane couldn't even feel that it was there until he saw it, he was going to have to give Ryan a hard no. This was more of a demon pest than anything, but that hissing gave Shane the impression that it thought far more highly of itself than that.

A horrible, terrible, irresponsible, and overall idiotic idea popped into Shane's head.

"Not dangerous enough to fight back if I messed with it." Shane said with an evil grin plastered across his face.

The color drained from Ryan's cheeks.

"No. No. No, no, no, no, no. No. No! Do not even think about it!" He whisper-shouted.

"It'll be fine! I'm, like, 30 times more powerful than it is." Shane assured him.

"Shane, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I could not give two shits." 

"C'mon man, it'll be funny! Besides, you'll only be the bait for like, what? 5 minutes?"

"I'll be the WH-"

Before Ryan could even finish his sentence, Shane was carting him over to a smaller room for an impromptu solo session.

...

The door behind Ryan shut with a quiet _click_ as alarm bells screamed in his head, all telling him to _get out of there as fast as possible._

Ryan had done a lot of things he had deemed very dumb.

Staying in demon houses was one of those things, but being in a demon house and being used as _bait_ for a very, very pissed off _demon_ for a _demon prank_ for his _demon friend_ had a higher stupidity level than anything else he had ever decided to do.

Ryan swallowed back his fears and shakily announced his usual spirit box explanation shtick to the seemingly empty room.

He flicked on the machine and was immediately greeted with screeching white noise and incomprehensible chatter. Nothing unusual, nothing even a little spooky.

It was the growl that made him freeze.

"Who was that? Who just growled?" Ryan asked, although he was pretty sure he already knew.

Another growl echoed through the spirit box.

Ryan swallowed hard. "I'm not afraid of you."

This, of course, was a complete lie, to which the demon took full advantage of.

Ryan flew into the door and out of the room backwards like someone had pointed a very high power fan at him, the shadowy figure materializing before him as he crashed to the floor.

Ryan was about ready to pass out in fear at this point, but he hoisted himself up using the arm of a needlepointed chair and stared in terror at the creature.

In his experience, having a demon staring enraged at you was not ever a good thing. Last time it had ended with him petrified on an abandoned asylum floor staring as his demonic best friend sprayed a shadow monster with holy water, which was an experience he was not eager to repeat.

Fortunately, this time the demon didn't give him much time to think about that as it lunged at Ryan.

Ryan shrieked and dashed around the room, throwing whatever he could at the demon, but nothing seemed to slow it down.

This prank was getting _way_ out of hand.

Ryan glanced behind him only to see the demon continuing it's charge at full speed.

In his moment of distraction, Ryan ran straight into the wall, slamming headfirst into it and getting no time to collect himself as the horrifying gargoyle demon instantly cornered him and hissed maliciously.

His pulse was now going faster than was probably healthy as he stared over what should have been the creature's shoulder.

Shane stood dead eyed in the doorframe holding a watergun and a thick leather-bound book, his horns growing through his hair and wings positioned lazily against his back.

Ryan relaxed a little, preparing himself for whatever dumb joke Shane was about to pull.

The demon turned around to glare at Shane, ready to face off if necessary. It slowly approached him, growling and waiting for a fight.

Instead of going into defense mode, Shane yelled "GET FUCKED, HELLSHIT!" at the top of his lungs and threw the book at the demon as hard as possible.

The demon took a hardcover to the face and fell backward, Shane taking it as an opportunity to rush forward and spray it with holy water, soft shrieks coming from the creature as it dissipated into a smokey figure and vanishing.

"Note to self," Shane picked up the book, "Bibles make excellent weapons."

Both of them stood in complete silence for about 30 seconds, staring at nothing and catching their breath before erupting into raucous laughter.

"Dude, what the _hell_ were you thinking?!" Ryan wheezed.

"That's the thing! I wasn't!"

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ,,,, that it haha  
> the blooper reel will be up as soon as it's formatted but that's all that's left to this story. thank you so much to everyone who has read this story and a special shout out to everyone who's been reading since the beginning. ily all

**Author's Note:**

> well that was spooky


End file.
